Copyright © 1999 Walt Zientek

(Telephone rings at 7:00 PM)

Breeder: Yes?

Buyer: Hello, my name is (blank) and I was referred to you for information about
buying a dog.

Breeder: And?

Buyer: Well, I guess I am interested in purchasing a chocolate puppy.

Breeder: How much Show experience do you have?

Buyer: None, actually, I am looking for a great companion dog and...

Breeder:(impatiently) Hold on. (pause)

Assistant: (impatiently) Yes?

Buyer: Hi, I was calling for information about a chocolate lab puppy and you were
highly recommended.

Assistant: Of COURSE we were! We at Avarice Kennels have produced hundreds
of conformation champions. (suspiciously) How did you get our number. We are
NOT in the book.

Buyer: You were recommended by Mr. (blank). He owns one of your pups and gave
you glowing praise.

Assistant: I'm quite sure he did. How much Show experience do you have?

Buyer: As I told the other person, we are just a family, with a fenced yard, two great
kids and lots of love...

Assistant: So, you do NOT intend to Show? We are a Show kennel. All of our dogs
are bred to the strictest conformation standards. We do not invest thousands of
dollars on clearances and stud fees and Show costs to have our work end up in
someone's backyard. We expect our buyers to campaign our puppies around the
country to keep our name visible in the Specialty circles.

Buyer: But certainly every dog you produce can't be Show quality. You must have
some that will be great pets. I have done some research, purchased a crate and
have several good puppy books here already and...

Assistant: I'm sure you have. But as I said, we are a Show kennel and that is our
interest. If you were to consider competition, we might consider Co-ownership with
us retaining breeding rights and kennel name. Our desire is to protect our interest.

Buyer: I thought your desire was to produce great dogs and to better the breed?

Assistant: SIGH! Yes, yes yes, that too. (very impatiently) I am quite sure that we
do NOT have anything that would suit your, er, needs. Is there something else?
We are vey busy.

Buyer: Could you tell me the exit off I99 for the Mall?