Copyright © 1998 Walt Zientek

(A True Story for Verteran's Day)

I was working downstairs when the phone rang.

"Dad!, It's for you. Some guy read the article in the paper about the book and
needs to talk to you," my oldest daughter, Cory yelled.

"Is this Walt?" the gruff voice asked.

"Sure is," I answered. "What can I do for you?"

The man went on to tell me his name, where he lived and how long he had been
retired. He made a point to mention that he was an ex-marine.

"So the newspaper says that you are some kind if computer expert. They say
you guys can do anything and I need a little help."

Now, I think this is pretty funny since I am certainly not an expert and because
the paper never said that at all. To some folks, however, anyone who uses the
Internet is an expert, so I asked again what I could do.

"I have this little momento that I have to send to Elizabeth Taylor," he said quite
seriously. "Been trying since June and the mail keeps coming back!"

He then went on with a rather long story that included many zip codes and the
names of several Post Masters.

"So, you want me to try to find you an address, is that it?" I asked.

"Yep," he responded. "I seen them computer guys on TV. They can find out
anything!"

I got his phone number and told him I'd see what I could do. Sitting at the
keyboard, I knew this wasn't going to be an easy task, but what the heck, it was
Veteran's Day and this guy was nearly eighty. I'd spend a few minutes searching
for something, anything.

After wading through the usual celebrity porn and celebrity tribute pages, I
managed to locate the address of the firm that handles all the mail from her fans.
I quickly wrote that down. After a little more searching, I found mention of a
lawsuit in which she had been involved.

That got my attention. Twentyfive pages later, I had the names and address of
her legal team. Bingo!

I called the old gentleman and told him that we had to do a "Back Door" move
to send his package. He seemed to like that term. I guess it sounded right from
a "computer whiz."

The New York address was not what he wanted. He needed California, because
that's where she lives. The next address was exactly what he was looking for
and the fact that it included the zip-plus, was a bonus.

We exchanged a little more small talk, he thanked me and we broke the
connection.

I really hope his package gets to Liz. After all, it is Veteran's Day and he is an
ex-marine. It was the least I could do.