Top Twelve Things Your Dog Would Say If It Could Talk

Copyright © 1996 Walt Zientek

12. But it SMELLS like food.
11. The cat did it.
10. What say we all drive down to Dairy Queen?
9. Explain this 'heat' thing again.
8. Mind if I sit there?
7. You gonna eat ALL of that?
6. I don't smell anything.
5. Could I see the menu?
3. Next time, I pick the bitch!
2. This isn't a mess, it's ambience!

And the number one thing your dog would say:

1. You are going to cut off my WHAT??!!

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Last modified: 8-19-2000

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