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Top 10 Reasons For Losing The Westiminster Dog Show
from the David Letterman Show (2-15-91)
# 10 -
Mistaken assumption there would be a chance to show off talent
for drinking from the toilet.
# 9 -
Thought I saw that 'Lil Chuckwagon'.
# 8 -
Bad idea going to Don King's Barber.
# 7 -
Caught in a lie claiming to be Cycle 2 dog when I'm really a Cycle 3.
# 6 -
Shouldn't have picked Dan Quayle as a running mate.
# 5 -
My life-long losing battle with problem drool.
# 4 -
During spelling portion of the competition, spelled 'ubiquitous' with two b's.
# 3 -
Didn't know that was the judge's leg!
# 2 -
Money goes to the trainer anyway, so let him stand naked in
Madison Square Garden and get touched by a stranger in a bad suit.
And the # 1 reasons for losing the Westiminster Dog Show -
Like me, the whole thing was fixed.
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