Copyright © 1999 Walt Zientek

One minute, all was well with the world. The big yellow lab and the little
yellow bulldog were snoring away on the floor, dreaming of squirrel chasing
and cheeseburgers and apricot colored toy poodles with flirtatious manners
and cute little wiggles. (I'm just guessing about the dreams, you know.)

The family was busy wrapping up the seemingly endless pile of Christmas
presents. Ribbons were flying and bows were sticking. Tape was consumed
in copious amounts.

Mom worried that she had gotten enough for everyone and Dad wondered
how he was going to pay for all of it.

The girls just chatted and continued to wrap and wrap and wrap.

Then, the youngest girl finished her roll of holiday paper, put the hollow
tube to her lips and went, "FLLLLLLLPPPRRRTTT."

The yellow boys shot awake in a nanosecond and turned in all directions,
looking for that horrible sound.

"FLLLLLLLLPPPRRRTTTT," she repeated through the tube as the 95 pound
lab ran butt-tucking from the room, around the coffee table and down the
stairs, where he hid a safe distance from the monster.

"FLLLLLLLLPPPRRRTTTT," she sounded again as the little bulldog sprang
to action, jumping and biting at the wretched abomination. He would kill the
intruder! He had the bulldog's tenacity, after all.

The big yellow lab, quietly tiptoed up the stairs, his hackles raised, ears
forward, ready to face the invisible interloper.

"CAAAAALLLEEEEBBBB!" the girl sounded through the tube.

The lab blanched pale. (Well, not really, but he did run back downstairs.)

The bulldog continued his attack.

"GGGGIIIBBBBYYYYY!" the girl called through the now dented tube.

The bulldog froze at the sound of his name.

"GGGRRRRRR!" she growled, sending the little guy into full attack mode
and drawing the big dog back into the kitchen.

Slowly, the lab made his way toward the sound and tilted his head in the way
that dogs do when they are trying to figure something out. You could almost
see the lightswitch being thrown, (Almost.) as he stepped right over the little
dog and put his mouth around the center of the tube and yanked it from the
girls hand.

He gave that cardboard tube one serious shake and held it out to the little
bulldog who bit down on it and pulled a big chunk away. He ran that chunk
into the livingroom and shook the life out of it, shook it until he was sure
that the monster was dead.

Soon, all was well with the world again as the big yellow lab and the little
yellow bulldog were snoring peacefully away on the kitchen floor, dreaming
of squirrels, cheeseburgers, apricot poodles and Christmas Monsters that
didn't get away.