Many authors (listed alphabetically)

A watchdog is a dog kept to guard your home, usually by sleeping where a burglar
would awaken the household by falling over him.
-- anonymous

Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.
-- J.M. Barrrie

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the
need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.
-- Dave Barry

Every boy should have a dog. It teaches him to turn around three times before
lying down.
-- Robert Benchley

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
-- Josh Billings

Tell me, if you can, of anything that's finer than an evening in camp with a rare old
friend and a dog after one's hear.
-- Nash Buckingham (from 'Hail and Farewell')

The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool out of yourself with him,
and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool out of himself too.
-- Samuel Butler

It is hard to teach an old dog tricks.
-- William Camden (1605)

It is naught good a sleepying hound to wake.
-- Chaucer

The nose of the Bulldog has been slanted backwards so that he can breathe
without letting go.
-- Winston Churchill

When thieves come, I bark; when gallants, I am still - So perform both my master's
and mistress's will.
-- Samuel Taylor Coleridge

'Twould make a dog laugh.
-- J.P. Collier (c1603)

If you have done much chasing of bobwhite quail, you will recall days when you
could not hit a flushing blanket with all four corners going in different directions.
And when, after repeated misses, one of the old dogs turned from his lingering
point and indignantly stared at you. Under such circumstances, I have seen a
variety of eyes eloquently pleading for me to get on the stick or go home and
sign up for skeet lessons.
-- Charley Dickey (from 'Florida Sportsman: How to Help a Bird Dog', Jan 1982)

It's a puppy... it's kind of like Prozac.
-- Dr. Fun Archive

Folk will know how large your soul is, by the way you treat a dog!
-- Charles F. Dornan

What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the
fight in the dog.
-- Dwight D. Eisenhower

We are shaped and fashioned by what we love.
-- Goethe

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to.
-- Joe Gores

We never really own a dog as much as he owns us.
-- Gene Hill (from 'Brown Dog, Tears & Laughter')

Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot little puppies.
-- Gene Hill

A dog is not 'almost human' and I know of no greater insult to the canine race than
to describe it as such.
-- John Holmes.

Who kicks a dog kicks his own soul towards hell.
-- Will Judy

A dog is a liberal... He wants to please everybody.
-- William Kunstler

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
-- Ann Landers

The fidelity of a dog is a precious gift.
-- Konrad Lorenz

There is no faith which has never yet been broken, except that of a truly faithful dog.
-- Konrad Lorenz

Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can
get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun!
-- Groucho Marx

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
-- Groucho Marx

No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as a dog does.
-- Christopher Morley

He cannot be a gentleman which loveth not a dog.
-- John Northbrooke

To a man, the greatest blessing is individual liberty.
To a dog, it is the last word in despair.
-- Wm. Lyon Phillips (1865-1943)

The dog that trots about finds a bone.
-- Proverb

God sat down for a moment when the dog was finished in order to watch it... and to
know that it was good, that nothing was lacking, that it could not have been made
better.
-- Rainer Marie Rilke

No man can be condemned for owning a dog. As long as he has a dog, he has a
friend; and the poorer he gets, the better friend he has.
-- Will Rogers

Who loves me will love my dog also.
-- St. Bernard (c1150)

Dogs are not people dressed up in fur coats, and to deny them their nature is to do
them great harm.
-- Jeanne Schinto

Recollect that the Almighty, who gave the dog to be companion of our pleasures
and our toils, hath invested him with a nature noble and incapable of deceit.
-- Sir Walter Scott (from 'The Talisman')

Blessed is the person who has earned the love of an old dog.
-- Sidney Jeanne Seward

If you eliminate smoking and gambling, you will be amazed to find that almost all an
Englishman's pleasures can be, and mostly are, shared by his dog.
-- George Bernard Shaw

Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of it's tail.
-- Henry Wheeler Shaw

You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before
any of us.
-- Robert Louis Stevenson

I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and
I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts.
-- John Steinbeck

It was like just meeting you made his day. He quivered with excitement. Rolled
over in submission. Nuzzled up so's the warmth of his body came soothing to
your heart through the skin of your ankle. So you picked him up. That's the
way with love. It's contagious.
-- Bill Tarrant (from 'Hey Pup, Fetch It Up')

Just because man no longer understands his place in the universe don't let him
assume all God's creatures have become equally confused and trivial.
-- Bill Tarrant (from 'Hey Pup, Fetch It Up')

The dog has got more fun out of Man than Man has got out of the dog, for the
clearly demonstrable reason that Man is the more laughable of the two animals.
-- James Thurber (from 'The Fireside Book of Dog Stories')

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go
to heaven, and very, very few persons.
-- James Thurber

Children and dogs are as necessary to the welfare of the country as Wall Street
and the railroads.
-- Harry S. Truman

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would
go in.
-- Mark Twain

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that
is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
-- Mark Twain

Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.
-- Mark Twain

Dogs will die, and men will weep over them as long as there are men and there
are dogs.
-- unknown

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then I want to go where they went.
-- unknown

If you own a dog, you'd better have a sense of humor.
-- unknown

If you're dog thinks you're the greatest... don't seek a second opinion.
-- unknown

It's impossible to keep a straight face in the presence of one or more puppies.
-- unknown

My goal in life is to be as good of a person as my dog already believes me to be.
-- unknown

One reason a dog is such a lovable creature is his tail wags instead of his tongue.
-- unknown

The first dog is the dog who gives you so much that the first dog is often the
reason for the second dog.
-- unknown

There is only one smartest dog in the world, and everybody has it.
-- unknown

Try to be as nice a person as your dog thinks you are.
-- unknown

You can't keep a good man down or an over affectionate dog.
-- unknown

Let dogs delight to bark, for God hath made them so.
-- Isaac Watts

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
-- Ben Williams

Old dogs, like old shoes, are comfortable. They might be a bit out of shape and a
little worn around the edges, but they fit us well.
-- Bonnie Wilcox

If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go
home and examine your conscience.
-- Woodrow Wilson

It is fatal to let any dog know that he is funny, for he immediately loses his head
and starts hamming it up.
-- P.G. Wodehouse

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Last modified: 1-1-2000

Nate Sarbin <nate@sarbin.com>